Roster Dogs


When you look at the FC Cincinnati roster, you can’t help but say to yourself “man, a lot of these guys kinda look like dogs”. Don’t lie. Also if you’re more of “a cat person”, turn back now. This post isn’t for your types.

So here are a bunch of dogs that reminded us of our favorite FC Cincinnati players. Or is it FC players? If we call it FC, will the Enquirer pick it up?


Evan Newton

Evan Newton has a beard. This dog has a beard.
Therefore, this dog looks like Evan Newton!


Mark Village

Very faithful but you don’t see him much and can never figure out
where the heck he got off to.


Forrest Lasso

He’s all about the 3 F’s: Food, Family, & Food. A lovable giant.


Dekel Keinan

Now that’s a dog that’s buried his fair share of bones.


Paddy Barrett

We’ve got a big fookin’ doggo.
What other breed were you expecting?


Jimmy Mclaughlin

The sweetheart of your nieces and nephews but they also don’t have to put up with him barking at 2 a.m. because he woke himself up farting.


Russell Cicerone

Very good boy you wish you could see play more often


Danni KÖnig

A face so nice you could kiss it twice. Also weirdly high pitch bark.

Tomi Ameobi

Sure, it’s English and it points, it probably does other stuff too. But you have to wonder why you bothered getting it in the first place.


CorbEn Bone

If it fixed its hair, you’d probably think it was an even better doggo than it is!


Emmanuel Ledesma

This dogo is famous for bangin in bangers, crushing slabs of beef, and getting olympicos called back. Or is that Ledesma?
They’re just so similar it’s all running together.

Check this space for when we compare our favorite MLS all-stars to shellfish


Andrew Springsteen

The Pride